tradesecret | OVERFLOW POST!!

Itsuki-kun has been here a long time. He has rapport with others despite himself, and he is the one who hates me the most, and overestimates the depths of my depravity, as well as the strength of my influence.

Taking on the leadership role is as much to soothe my battered ego as it is to protect the unit. If someone on our unit does something bad, it should be easy with my reputation to blame it on me and me alone, even if I had no direct hand in it.

When you put it that way it sounds more like a self-inflicted punishment than something soothing.

Is it? To position myself as leader allows me to feel important, despite having really very little to contribute~

And if I'm going go be thrown under the bus for the unit, I might as well own it. Stand tall with my head held high, and au that yes, BARITONES is mine. It also empowers me and in fact, requires me to take disciplinary or punitive action when someone acts in a way I don't agree with.

I cultivate the relationship I have with the unit in declaring the position.

And how do you feel about the relationship as it is right now?

It's fine.

[He shrugs. How else does he describe it? Wildfire isn't obedient and really dislikes him, Absinthe and Alexander are solo artists who present a front of obedience, but they both come off as the 'crooked advisors'. Paloma and Yvette are loyal to their goals, but not necessarily to each other, and Kohime is the only one Eichi actually trusts... to an extent. She's loyal and obedient for the most part, but she can be emotional and that makes it harder to control her.]

...Taking on a leadership role makes me feel responsible for them, which is tough... but it breeds a sense of... paternal... ownership? It's hard to say, but it makes BARiTONES feel like... mine.

And how do you feel about our relationship, specifically?

[???

He's not sure what she is actually asking. For what reason should she be concerned about the relationship that they share?]

It is professional.

I can't bring myself to like or dislike someone who refuses to have their own identity.

And that's fine, that you don't like or dislike me. You don't need to have an impression of someone that's meant to be forgotten.

[ her hands trail from his neck to his shoulders. ]

...You're an idiot if you think you'll be forgotten.

[He doesn't turn to her, just pulling his wings down to allow her to reach his shoulders more easily.]

BARiTONES is where it is because of you, and they all gravitate to you. It just seems like a pointless endeavor, trying to be forgotten, trying to remove your identity, while also trying to better the lives of those around you.

[ she can't begin to unpack how she feels about Ayumu failing to forget her, so she laughs and rubs more vigorously at Eichi's shoulders. Running away in some form of work. ]

I haven't done much; just identified a gap and filled it. Anyone could do what I do, and I'd gladly teach anyone who wishes to learn.

[It feels nice, if Eichi is honest. A massage. He isn't distracted by it, though.]

It's something only you can do- balancing BARiTONES' emotionally disconnected and vicious nature with public relations, sanding down our edges without making us something that we aren't. It's something you can teach others to do, but it is not something that many are willing to do. Myself as well, if I'm honest.

It sounds far more successful on paper than it is in practice, but if the result is something you don't dislike... then I'll continue doing what I've been doing.

Gosh, I'm sorry I got us into such a heavy conversation.

It's something you're interested in, so it's fine.

[He pauses on that thought for a moment, as if connecting some dots.]

...A lot of kids died because of me. Back home. I made a system designed to crush dreams, and it induced such despair... that they took their lives. I wanted to make things better, and I still don't know if it was all worth it.

[She HAD seemed interested in knowing, after all.]

I used my power to bend and break people, to ruin their lives and tear apart friendships. I turned the whole world on others... people I considered friends or foes, in order to force them to behave the way I wanted them to.

And the very worst part is that I don't even have the decency to be wicked. I'm just a... stupid... sick boy... and I have the gall to cry out for help in my sleep, as if I deserve it. Almost no one can even hate me properly, when I should rightly be hated.

[[ it's Enstars we expect this. ]]

[ The massage doesn't falter, as if she isn't the slightest bit troubled. ]

I'm not going to judge your past actions. And while the past that follows you is heavier than most, and has a more visible than most here, the circumstances are not the same.

I didn't tell you in order to rationalize it away, for pity, or anything else. I told you because you wanted to know, and I suppose you deserve to. If anyone does.

[ leans forward, skin on skin, but mostly to make sure he can hear when she says: ]

Thank you for your honesty. For the record, I don't pity you, I just think... it'd be such a waste if you held yourself back.

[He doesn't really understand what that means. Holding himself back...?]

I'm not holding myself back. Not anymore.

[He won't mention what he means of course, but he had paused to think for a moment before his response. Then again, maybe that was just bare skin against his back. He's a teen boy after all!]

Good. There's only so much punishing yourself will accomplish.

[ leaning on him, loose enough to be just shy of a hug ]

[This is so odd in so many ways, but the magic is broken a little with her leaning on him more. He's just a teenage boy after all and he's so terribly touch-starved. He feels chills running down his spine and he ends up kind of. Shifting uncomfortably.]

...We should check out that bath, I think.

Ah, good idea! [ she extends a leg to show him the iridescent scales surfacing on her skin ]

If I get any more wet, you'll have to carry me there.

[Makes a noise of frustration. Awful.]

Right.

[He... gets up then and just kind of wraps his wings around himself so that he can cover his body up.]

Are you teasing me on purpose, Miss Yvette?

Far from it. Save from the kissing game, I think I've made a conscious effort to do the opposite, so you wouldn't think I was trying to manipulate you.

[ not making any effort to cover herself up and walking to the hot spring without the tiniest shred of embarrassment. ]

OVERFLOW POST!!

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cw: s.. uicide... talk... I'm so sorry

Re: cw: s.. uicide... talk... I'm so sorry

Re: cw: s.. uicide... talk... I'm so sorry

Re: cw: s.. uicide... talk... I'm so sorry

Re: cw: s.. uicide... talk... I'm so sorry

Re: cw: s.. uicide... talk... I'm so sorry

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